Here's a situation that happens more often than you'd think: a couple falls in love with a ketubah, orders it, gets it personalized — and then finds out a week before the wedding that their rabbi won't accept the text. Or that their witnesses don't meet the requirements.
The fix is simple: talk to your rabbi about the ketubah early. One conversation can save you significant stress. Here's a complete list of questions to bring, organized by topic.
Questions About the Text
1. Do you require a specific ketubah text?
This is the most important question. Some rabbis — particularly in Orthodox communities — require a specific Aramaic text and won't officiate with anything else. Others are flexible. Reform and Reconstructionist rabbis often give wide latitude. A clear answer early prevents heartbreak later.
2. What language does the ketubah need to be in?
Orthodox ketubahs must be in Aramaic. Conservative ketubahs typically use Aramaic with optional English. Reform ketubahs may be in Hebrew, English, or both. Ask specifically: is English-only acceptable? Can there be a bilingual layout?
3. Can I choose my own text, or do you provide one?
Some rabbis provide the text (and sometimes the physical document). Others expect the couple to source their own. If your rabbi provides a text, ask to see it. If you're choosing your own, have your rabbi review it before ordering.
4. Will you review the ketubah text before I order?
Even if not required, having your rabbi review your chosen text is smart. They may catch issues — an inaccurate translation, a phrase that doesn't work for your ceremony. Send it as early as possible.
5. Are there specific elements the text must include?
Ask about Hebrew date format, location description, required phrases, or mandatory clauses (like the Lieberman clause in Conservative Judaism).
Questions About Names and Details
6. What are our correct Hebrew names for the ketubah?
Your ketubah includes your Hebrew names and your parents' Hebrew names. Your rabbi can help with "ben" vs. "bat" usage, whether to include both parents' names, and how to handle names for converts or adopted children. Get names confirmed in writing.
7. How should the date be written?
Since the Jewish day begins at sunset, an evening wedding's Hebrew date may differ from the secular date. Your rabbi can confirm the correct Hebrew date.
8. How should the location be described?
Traditional ketubah texts identify the location by proximity to a body of water. Your rabbi knows the conventional formulation for your city — this isn't something most couples can fill in alone.
Questions About the Signing Ceremony
9. When and where does the signing take place?
Most signings happen before the ceremony in a private room. How far in advance? Who should be in the room? Understanding the timing helps you plan your schedule and brief your photographer.
10. Who needs to be present?
At minimum: the couple (or the groom in Orthodox practice), two witnesses, and the officiant. Can close family attend? Is there a room-size limit? Should the bride be present in Orthodox ceremonies?
11. How long does the signing take?
Usually five to ten minutes for the signing itself, though the surrounding gathering may be longer if it includes the bedeken or tisch.
Questions About Witnesses
12. What are the witness requirements?
This varies dramatically by denomination. Orthodox: shomer Shabbat Jewish men, unrelated to the couple and each other. Conservative: similar, with some variation. Reform: often any Jewish adults, and some rabbis accept non-Jewish witnesses. Ask specifically about gender, observance, and relationship requirements.
13. Can we choose our own witnesses?
If you want to honor specific people, check with your rabbi that they qualify. If they don't meet halachic requirements, some couples have them sign a separate commemorative ketubah while qualified witnesses sign the official document.
14. How many witnesses do we need?
Two is standard. Some couples add honorary witnesses in non-Orthodox ceremonies. Ask your rabbi whether additional signatures are welcome.
Questions About Bringing Your Own Ketubah
15. Can I bring my own ketubah?
The vast majority of rabbis welcome this. But confirm rather than assume — some have preferences about format, size, or layout worth knowing in advance.
16. Will you review it before the wedding?
Offering to send a proof is smart even if not required. Your rabbi can check text, names, and dates while there's time to fix issues. At Ketubah Tov, we always recommend sharing your ketubah details with your rabbi before finalizing.
17. Any size or format preferences?
If your rabbi plans to hold the ketubah up during the reading, a very small one might not work visually. A quick question now prevents an awkward moment later.
Questions for Interfaith Couples
18. Will you officiate an interfaith wedding with a ketubah?
Not all rabbis officiate interfaith weddings. Among those who do, ketubah practices vary. Ask about text options and any requirements. Our interfaith ketubah collection is a great starting point for this conversation.
19. Does the non-Jewish partner sign?
In interfaith ceremonies, both partners typically sign. Confirm with your officiant how the signing is structured.
20. Can we incorporate elements from both traditions?
If your ceremony blends traditions, ask how the ketubah fits into the larger flow. Your rabbi can help design a ceremony that honors both backgrounds naturally.
Practical Logistics
21. Should I bring a pen?
Don't assume the rabbi or venue will have an appropriate one. A fine-point archival ink pen (like a Sakura Micron) is ideal. Ask whether to bring your own — it's always the safer bet.
22. Who reads the ketubah during the ceremony?
The rabbi, a honored guest, or the couple themselves? Ask about options and share your preference.
23. What should I do with the ketubah after the ceremony?
Designate someone to transport it safely. Your rabbi has seen ketubahs left at venues, spilled on, and sat on — they'll have practical advice.
Frequently Asked Questions
When should I have this conversation?
As early as possible — ideally three to six months before the wedding. This gives time to choose a text, order the ketubah, review it with your rabbi, and make corrections.
What if I don't have a rabbi?
You can hire an officiant, ask a local rabbi for guidance (many help non-members), or choose a text that doesn't require rabbinic approval — like a secular humanist or interfaith ketubah.
What if my rabbi and I disagree about the text?
Open conversation is best. Your rabbi may suggest a compromise — many couples happily use two ketubahs: one meeting the rabbi's requirements and one with the personal text they prefer.
Does my rabbi need to approve the artwork?
No — there are no halachic requirements for ketubah artwork. Only the text matters religiously. Choose any design you love.
My rabbi provides a ketubah — should I still buy my own?
Rabbi-provided ketubahs are sometimes plain documents. If you want beautiful wall art, buying your own is the way to go. You can use both, or — with your rabbi's approval — use a beautiful ketubah that meets text requirements for everything. Browse our full collection to see your options.
Start the Conversation Early
One early conversation with your rabbi covers all of this and sets you up for a stress-free signing day. Once you know the requirements, finding the right ketubah is the easy part.
At Ketubah Tov, we offer ketubahs for every denomination — Orthodox, Conservative, Reform and egalitarian, interfaith, and more. Every ketubah includes free personalization, prices start at just $99, and we offer express shipping. Pick your art, pick your text, and we handle the rest.