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Your love story is worth celebrating — fully, beautifully, and without compromise. If you're an LGBTQ+ couple planning a Jewish wedding (or a wedding that incorporates Jewish traditions), a ketubah is one of the most meaningful ways to honor your commitment. And the wonderful news is that today there are more options than ever for ketubahs that reflect who you are as a couple.
This guide covers everything LGBTQ+ couples need to know about choosing a ketubah — from the texts and language options available to finding an inclusive officiant and making the signing ceremony your own. The bottom line: you deserve a ketubah that celebrates your relationship exactly as it is, and finding one is easier than you might think.
LGBTQ+ Ketubahs in Jewish Tradition
The ketubah has been part of Jewish life for over two thousand years. Traditionally, it served as a marriage contract outlining the groom's obligations to his bride. But Jewish tradition has always evolved — and the ketubah has evolved with it.
Over the past several decades, rabbis, Jewish scholars, and couples themselves have worked to create ketubah texts that reflect the full diversity of Jewish families. The Reform movement began officiating same-sex weddings in the 1990s, and the Reconstructionist and Conservative movements have followed with varying degrees of acceptance. Today, LGBTQ+ ketubahs are a well-established part of the Jewish wedding landscape.
It's important to acknowledge that not all denominations recognize same-sex marriages. Orthodox halacha (Jewish law) does not sanction same-sex unions, and Orthodox rabbis will not officiate them. However, within the Reform, Reconstructionist, Renewal, and parts of the Conservative movement, LGBTQ+ couples are welcomed and celebrated. If you have questions about your specific community's stance, your rabbi or a local LGBTQ+ Jewish organization can be a great resource.
A Growing and Joyful Tradition
What's beautiful about LGBTQ+ ketubahs is that they aren't just making room within an existing tradition — they're expanding what the tradition means. Couples are writing new texts, choosing gender-neutral language, and creating documents that speak to their specific experiences and promises. In many ways, LGBTQ+ couples are at the forefront of the broader movement toward more personal, intentional ketubahs.
Text Options for LGBTQ+ Ketubahs
Choosing the right text is the most important part of your ketubah. For LGBTQ+ couples, there are several approaches, and the best one depends on your preferences, your denomination, and what feels most authentic to your relationship.
Gender-Neutral Texts
Many modern ketubah texts are written in gender-neutral language, avoiding pronouns like "he" or "she" and instead using "we," "us," or the couple's names. These texts work beautifully for any couple — same-sex, nonbinary, or otherwise — because they focus on the commitments being made rather than the genders of the people making them.
Gender-neutral ketubah texts are available in English, Hebrew, or both. In Hebrew, this can require particular care since the language is inherently gendered, but skilled writers have created Hebrew texts that navigate this gracefully. If having Hebrew on your ketubah matters to you, rest assured that excellent gender-neutral Hebrew options exist.
Same-Sex Specific Texts
Some couples prefer a ketubah text that explicitly names and celebrates their same-sex relationship. These texts might reference two brides, two grooms, or two partners, and they lean into the specific joy of LGBTQ+ love rather than working around it. For many couples, seeing their relationship reflected directly in the language of their ketubah is deeply affirming.
These texts are available across denominations. Reform and Reconstructionist ketubah texts, in particular, have well-established same-sex versions that have been used in thousands of weddings.
Nonbinary and Genderqueer Options
For couples where one or both partners identify as nonbinary, genderfluid, or genderqueer, standard gendered texts — even same-sex specific ones — may not feel right. The good news is that custom ketubah texts can be written or adapted to use whatever language fits. Some couples use "beloved" or "partner" instead of gendered terms. Others create entirely new phrasings.
If you're working with a rabbi who is experienced with LGBTQ+ ceremonies, they can often help you find or write a text that honors your identities. And if you find a ketubah design you love at Ketubah Tov, you can pair it with any text that works for you — including a fully custom one.
Egalitarian and Reform Texts
The modern egalitarian ketubah texts used by Reform and egalitarian communities are often inherently LGBTQ+-friendly. They emphasize mutual commitment, shared values, and equal partnership — language that naturally accommodates all couples. If you're looking for a text that's inclusive without being specifically labeled as "LGBTQ+," this is a great place to start.
Interfaith LGBTQ+ Couples
If you and your partner come from different faith backgrounds, you'll want a ketubah text that honors both your identities — as an LGBTQ+ couple and as an interfaith one. Our interfaith ketubah collection includes texts designed for couples of different religious backgrounds, and these can be combined with gender-neutral language to create a document that truly represents both of you.
Finding an Inclusive Officiant
Your officiant sets the tone for your entire ceremony, so finding someone who genuinely celebrates your relationship matters. Here are some tips for finding the right fit:
Ask directly about their experience with LGBTQ+ ceremonies. You want someone enthusiastic, not merely willing. There's a big difference between tolerance and celebration, and you deserve the latter.
Check denominational resources. The Reform movement's Central Conference of American Rabbis (CCAR) maintains a directory of rabbis, many of whom actively seek LGBTQ+ couples. Reconstructionist rabbis are broadly affirming. Within the Conservative movement, individual rabbis vary.
Ask about the ketubah early. Bring it up in your first conversation. Ask what texts they recommend for LGBTQ+ couples and whether they have specific requirements. A good officiant will have thoughtful answers and will be excited to help you choose a text that resonates.
Consider independent rabbis. Many rabbis working outside specific denominational structures are deeply knowledgeable and warmly welcoming of LGBTQ+ couples. And don't settle — if an officiant makes you feel like your wedding is anything less than a full celebration, keep looking.
The Signing Ceremony for LGBTQ+ Couples
The ketubah signing is one of the most intimate moments of a Jewish wedding. Traditionally, it happens before the ceremony in a private room (called the cheder yichud or signing room), with just the couple, their witnesses, the officiant, and sometimes close family.
For LGBTQ+ couples, the signing ceremony is a chance to create a moment that feels authentically yours. Here's what to think about:
Choosing Your Witnesses
In traditional Jewish law, ketubah witnesses must be Jewish men who are not related to the couple. However, in Reform, Reconstructionist, and many egalitarian communities, witnesses can be any Jewish adults — regardless of gender. Many LGBTQ+ couples choose witnesses who have been particularly important in their journey as a couple or as LGBTQ+ individuals. This is a beautiful way to honor the people who've supported you.
Check with your officiant about any specific witness requirements. If your officiant has particular guidelines, it's best to know well in advance so you can ask the right people.
Making It Personal
Some couples read their ketubah aloud to each other during the signing. Others share a private moment, a prayer, or a toast. There are no strict rules about what happens during the signing (beyond the actual signing), so make it yours. If you want to include a reading, a song, or simply a quiet moment together before the ceremony begins, your officiant can help you shape it.
Including Loved Ones
The signing ceremony can be as private or as communal as you want. Some LGBTQ+ couples keep it very intimate; others invite their entire wedding party or their parents. If having your community around you for this moment feels right, go for it. If you'd rather it be a quiet moment between the two of you and your witnesses, that's equally beautiful.
A Note on Language and Respect
When ordering your ketubah, make sure the vendor you choose uses respectful, affirming language and doesn't require you to fit into categories that don't apply to you. At Ketubah Tov, we welcome all couples and are happy to help you find — or create — a ketubah that reflects your relationship with joy and respect. Our LGBTQ+ ketubah collection is a great starting point, but you're welcome to choose any design from our full collection and pair it with whatever text speaks to you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do LGBTQ+ ketubahs have special requirements?
There are no universal special requirements. The most important thing is that your ketubah text and ceremony align with the practices of your denomination and officiant. Reform, Reconstructionist, and many egalitarian rabbis have well-established approaches for LGBTQ+ ketubahs. The text options are plentiful, and the process is the same as for any couple: pick your text, pick your art, personalize, and you're set.
Can we use a traditional ketubah text for a same-sex wedding?
The traditional Aramaic ketubah text is specifically gendered (written from the groom to the bride), so it doesn't directly apply to same-sex couples without modification. However, many denominations have created adapted versions that maintain the spirit of the traditional text while using inclusive language. Your officiant can guide you to the right version. If you're unsure, ask your rabbi what texts they recommend for same-sex couples.
What if we want Hebrew on our ketubah but the gendered language doesn't fit?
This is a common and completely solvable concern. Skilled Hebrew writers have developed gender-neutral and same-sex specific Hebrew texts that read beautifully and respect the language. Your officiant or a ketubah text specialist can help you find or commission a Hebrew text that feels right. We also offer custom text options if you'd like to work with your own Hebrew wording.
Is there a difference between a ketubah for two brides vs. two grooms?
Some ketubah texts are written specifically for two women or two men, while others use gender-neutral language that works for any combination. It depends on your preference — some couples want their specific identities named in the document, while others prefer universal language. Both approaches are beautiful and valid. Choose whichever feels more authentic to your relationship.
How do we handle families who may not be supportive?
This is a deeply personal question, and there's no single right answer. Some couples use the ketubah signing as a private, joyful moment with only their strongest supporters present. Others use the public reading of the ketubah during the ceremony as an opportunity to show the beauty and intention of their commitment to all their guests. A good officiant can help you navigate family dynamics with sensitivity. Remember: your ketubah celebrates your love and your promises. It's your document, and it should bring you joy.
Your Ketubah, Your Love Story
Every couple deserves a ketubah that makes them feel seen, celebrated, and excited about the life they're building together. At Ketubah Tov, we're proud to offer a wide range of ketubahs that welcome every couple — with designs starting at $99, free personalization, and express shipping. Pick the art you love, pick the text that speaks to you, and we'll handle the rest. Your love story is beautiful, and your ketubah should be too.